Last night the num-nums monster came over. It's always starts out so quiet and polite, asking timidly if it can please have something scrumptious to eat. I tried to ignore it and tell myself that it was just hunger. So I made rice and steamed vegetables. Hunger taken care of. Num-nums monster...unappeased! I ate another serving of rice and veggies trying to be healthy and stronger than my body. Moment of satisfaction. I am captain of my ship...wait, what is this feeling inside? NEED NUM-NUMS! I was putting away the extra rice and started getting creative to take care of this num-num monster. I had been minding my own business doing homework and eating dinner and now here I was getting creative with rice and sugar...num-nums monster, you are sneaky!
Rice, milk, sugar, and cinnamon--I figured that would do the trick, only I didn't have any milk and couldn't find my cinnamon. Hmmmm...grainy and a little crunchy. It was sugary, but num-nums monster wasn't buying it, it was just getting nastier.
I looked in my cupboards. Sweet potatoes? I could add lots of brown sugar!! No, that would aggravate the monster, it knows when you try to take something healthy a disguise it as good. My inability to come up with something satisfying to appease num-nums monster was only ticking him off. He decided to take things into his own hands. Num-nums monster tore apart my pantry to make sure I wasn't holding out. Top Ramen? Pasta, that's whole wheat? My pantry could almost kill a num-nums monster...almost, instead it just made him angry...as well as genuinely shocked at my complete lack of junk food!
During this pantry upheaval Housemate came and offered me some of her chocolate chips. Very kind, but tasty morsels were no longer adequate options.
My eye was twitching (not really) and my stance became similar to that of a 5'4" velociraptor (really). Time for action. I pounced on Roommate and tried to contain the monster while I innocently asked, "Num-nums?" She agreed, having a similar encounter with her Yum-Yums Monster. From this point on we had caveman like communication by repeating Num-nums and Yum-yums in varying tones and volume.
Grocery store. I circled the food in the bakery section glaring at everything all boxed up...day old. Gross.I proceeded to stalk over to the cookies and crackers aisle, in search of my prey. Finally I found what I needed and pounced: Keebler Coconut Delights (buy one get one free!) and Grape Kool-Aid (what? that one shocked me too, but I NEEDED IT!)
Slowly the num-nums monster gave up it's strong hold on my sanity as I fed it an entire package of coconut delights and half a pitcher of kool-aid. (Mom, remember that one time I put two cups of sugar in the Kool-Aid on accident?)
Course every action has repercussions, for good or ill. I ate all this at 11:45pm. Which means I couldn't fall asleep. I didn't even care, I was in an enchanted euphoric state! I was lying in bed so excited for the dumbest things! I planned my day for today and I was soooo ecstatic...meet with my professor, work, run 6 miles, eat salmon for dinner, class, library until 10, bed. Exciting, I know. A flippin' rollercoaster. Dang sugar.


  1. Comment one: While reading this post I was honest to goodness eating coconut delights! Wow. We are sisters to the nth degree!...bytheway, I am not 100% sure what that last statement means.
    Comment two: Your yam doesn't look like a slug, it looks like baby Jesus in your favorite Christmas ornament. :) love you!

  2. Making narwhal/unicorn/pure awesomeness t-shirts made me get the num nums last night...too bad they scream like Jackie Chan on steroids...and yes, your yam looks like baby Jesus...and I bet guys will start lookin' atcha now you got a narwhal on the backside while jogging cuz it's one more reason to turn yo' head!