11.08.2012

Why so lame?


“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” -Dr. Seuss

Yesterday I had one of those crappy days that I think we all experience as women…or maybe just as human beings. The ‘you’re lame’ monster came up from behind and tackled me totally unawares! And suddenly everything came down…everything, stuff that isn't even bothering me. I felt like I’m not succeeding anywhere – which is ridiculous! I feel like I won’t succeed with Stella & Dot (I just want it to be fun and on the side – but I’m one of three stylists in Utah, so I feel pressure!), I’m frustrated that Puppy seems to be regressing (I blame daylight savings), I've gotten out of the habit of eating healthy and exercising (is it bad that I crave Dr.Pepper more than water?)…blah blah blah! Then I watched Glee and was suddenly overwhelmingly sad that I didn't stick with/pursue dancing and singing more. And off I grew a huge zit right in the middle of my forehead, which means it has nowhere to go but out and into my bone (ow!) – I’m almost 26, still? And to top it all off I had to interact with this girl that somehow always manages to makes me feel bad about myself – which is weird, no one makes me feel bad about myself! Somehow she makes me feel worthless, inferior and like I'm 13 all over again (13 was the worst). 

Luckily – I married the best man ever. Husband just laid next to me in bed and asked what was wrong – which I didn’t really know, cause nothing was really wrong – but he helped me figure out what was bugging me. Who is this guy and how does he know how to treat me perfectly? He never looks at me like I’m crazy (even though we both know I’m being rather irrational) and doesn't just leave me until I stop being ridiculous – he makes me feel extra loved when I need it the most. Most of the time I don’t need to be coddled, but he knows when I need it and how to do it…I don’t even know how to coddle me. He pointed out all the ways that I am amazing, special, succeeding, and reminded me that my worth and his love are not contingent upon things like blog readers, gourmet dinners, and handmade decor. 
Sometimes I think these nights are good. Why? They get me outside of the box of my own life and help me reevaluate where I’m at, where I want to go, why I am doing what I’m doing. Here’s what I realized:
  • I want to Stella & Dot for fun – to reconnect with people and make new friends. To get new jewelry and to make some amazing stuff available to others.
  • I want to put more of me into my blog. I read so many blogs of these women that are amazing! I’m not a gourmet chef, ridiculously creative and crafty, a great writer, great decorator, or super fashionable. I’m average…but I’m real. I a pretty good cook and love trying out new things in the kitchen. I enjoy being creative and crafting, even if I’m copying/spring boarding from something I’ve seen. I really like to write…so why am I just posting pictures (which are great), why am I not writing more? I like clothes and looking good…for cheap, why am I trying to keep up with these Prada wearing ladies? So I’m going to be more me on my blog – which will still include all of these things, but with less pressure (pressure that I put on myself anyways!)
  • I need to be more balanced. I want to do everything – sew, bake, learn photography, journal, get a 6-pack, make my Christmas d├ęcor, make baby gifts for my friends, throw a baby shower, throw a bridal shower, help plan a wedding, train my dog, play with my dog, somehow spend time with Husband, blog, make a scrapbook, sell Stella & Dot, sell Designer Jeans, make/buy Christmas gifts, ect. ect. See…I need some balance. I’m actually normally really good at being okay with not doing everything – I’m pleased to be me and content where I’m at…but these are all things that I could do and if I balance I can fit more of them in. But I also need to let some of them go. And that’s okay.
  • I need to write down my thoughts more – helps me organize.
  • I need to take time for me…exercise, read the word of God, talk to God sleep, actually do my hair.
So, here I am today, feeling rejuvenated. Making to-do lists and goal charts so I can get myself on track for what I want. I feel more centered and less lame. I interacted with the girl that shatters my confidence and her rocks didn’t even chip at me today. I remembered all the people that I love and love me back - funny how I forget about my cheering section and about all the positives. 

What do you do to keep yourself centered and confident?   

8 comments:

  1. Thanks for being REAL! REAL is way better than coming across perfect. Husbands are the best! They have a special way of knowing how to fix things when we don't know how to. :)

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    1. Thank you! Who want to be perfect anyways...pressure and boring!

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  2. Amen! To the whole post! I was feeling just like that a couple weeks ago, for about a week :( It's the worst. The best? Awesome husbands who help us out of our funk.

    I find I need to do something for me everyday. Too often I get home from work and cook dinner and then I'm just lazy. Instead of doing nothing all night I try to do something small that I enjoy everyday.

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    1. Thank you! Glad you understand! And same - I just need to remember and plan, otherwise I suddenly have done nothing!

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  3. Love this post, Melissa! I'm glad I'm not the only one that has mini I-can't-do-anything-right meltdowns, and has nothing rational to say when my husband is like, "Why are you in bed and crying at 7:00?" It happens... (good thing we married such understanding guys!) What helps me is to focus on the things that are really essential, and remind myself that anything else doesn't really matter. If it gets done, great. If not, I just have to let it go. Easier said than done, but thanks for sharing. :)

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  4. Haha I hate the lame monster too! :) Your blog is absolutely fabulous-just became a member/follower of your blog. I hope you'll follow me back and we can keep in touch. Happy Blogging!!! 



    ♥ Elle
    www.thehighfeather.com 
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  5. Hi there, I am your newest follower from Aloha Friday =) looking forward to reading your posts.
    Hope you stop by to say hi and follow back. Thanks for hosting!

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  6. Aloha from your newest follower! I'm glad to see that you made goals and realistic expectations for yourself after getting attacked by what I call the "blurgs". Happens a lot and then you brush it off and live your life! ;-)
    -Jamie
    http://chatterblossom.blogspot.com/

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