This week: 04.13.16

Look at those cute babies! Both girls are sitting up by themselves now (not that I trust either without a pillow behind them).

Today was gorgeous. We went to two parks. Which was probably over doing it, but so lovely! I get to reteach Wade to not throw sand. I get to relearn that we empty shoes and pockets at the park, always wear sunscreen and always bring digging toys. A year makes such a difference - Wade took off on the play structures so fast. I had to keep looking for his bowling ball head to make sure that that independent little two year old didn't take himself on a walk. Which he totally did. But he had such a ball! Blake liked getting the edge of the blanket and playing with the grass and bark. Jacqueline managed to have people hold her and giggled big ol' belly laughs to make sure she becomes everyone's favorite.

In the afternoon we walked to a park by our house. It was just me and all the kids + the dog. The park is by our house, but not close enough - on the way home I wasn't sure we were going to make it. Wade HAD to walk and he HAD to hold Stella's leash. Within 30 minutes of getting home everyone was passed out in bed. We are going to love summer.

I think Wade has pneumonia again. His lungs just haven't healed and every time he gets a little bug it goes straight to his lungs. Garbage. It got progressively worse through out the day, but he doesn't act sick, just his cough. I've been breaking up cough drops for him which he calls yucky every time until I tell him it's candy.

Wade likes doing this low grumbly voice. I'm working on him saying "I'm Batman." It's good. So good. Expect a video shortly.

Wade is talking more and more and becoming more independent. It's the worst. Not really. But kind of. He now knows that I know what he's talking about, so when I say no he just keeps saying it incase I didn't hear him. Or he has decided that no is synonymous with "mommy doesn't have time" so he figures it out himself. The other day he wanted an apple and cheese. But then he saw an orange so he asked for that. I told him no because I already cut him up an apple and cheese. I went to take care of a girl and I hear him rummaging around in a kitchen drawer - I come back to find I'm holding the cheese grater, potato peeler, can opener and his orange.

Husband and I went out for our anniversary (4 years!!) and brought back two leftover containers. The next day Wade kept asking for something and bringing me to the fridge (he pulls on your pants or pushes you from behind if you're not paying attention or aren't moving fast enough). Finally I told him to grab his stool and he kept saying "byes" and pointing to the white boxes. He somehow got in his mind that there should be fries in those white leftover boxes. I showed him that there weren't fries in one, but he wasn't satisfied until he had seen into both containers - I didn't want to show him the second container because it had cake in it  - but he would not relent! His persistence lasted probably 45 minutes, then I finally showed him the second box, he was satisfied and grabbed his milk off a shelf and went and laid on the couch.

We held our first ever whole family FHE! It lasted maybe five minutes - including a song and two prayers. It's a start.

We've been sleep training the girls! Mostly Blake. Jacqueline does pretty good. We're on day 4. So far so ...okay. Blake is still waking up and crying once a night, but she's only crying for about 10 minutes. Waking up and crying for me was just a habit, she's been so much happier getting better sleep. During this time I feel guilty, but I know it's for the best. I feel especially guilty because Blake has been being such a stinker (she won't nurse unless she's exhausted or starving, otherwise she just screams at me!) and that's what gave me the gumption to let her cry at night. I have to remind myself it's for the best and give her extra snuggles in the morning.

I've been making a huge point to read my scriptures in the morning. It's been wonderful. I feel uplifted and starting my day with the Lord has already had positive affects. I remember the things I want to work on and I remember that the He is helping me with my struggles. It really goes beyond just the messages I study. But doing it during the day means that I get kids helping:

This mornings scripture study deteriorated into a tickle fest. They often do. Please note the naked child - it really was such a warm day!

I've also been exercising every. single. day. Who am I? I've been going to the gym and doing this supplement work out a friend found on instagram. I sometimes do it at home and my kids think it's the best and cheer me on. Wade does the moves with me and counts my reps (especially loves counting push ups - although he also likes to try to lay under my face? So I have to tell him to hold my feet). The girls just giggle and give me smiles. Burpees (UGH!) and frog jumps are everyones favorite to watch.

Look at those cheerleaders! They say "you can do it mommy! But not too hard, you still have to carry us around all day." They do make me push harder cause they laugh and smile more the bigger I do the motions.

When we found out we were having twins I had this perception shift about my life experience - I actually started thinking about what I want in my life experience. I think it hit with the twins because I realized that I get the unique experience of having twins. Well, this week I've been thinking a lot about what I don't want anymore. I don't want to be bogged down with my temper or my moods. I get bugged by a lot of stuff. I wouldn't say I'm easily offended, but I am easily bugged. Often I get over it quickly, but sometimes I ruins my day or my hour. My blood boils a little and  I repeat the situation in my mind and mentally rehearse what I want to say! I've been working on feeling those emotions and then letting them go. It's helped/is helping. But now I also want to work on just not having the emotion. Not seeing the "offense." Putting on some rosier colored glasses. Is that possible? I think so. It's all about pride, right? When my way is the right way, my feelings matter more than others, when I'm comparing and judging - all that keeps me bogged down. I don't want to be bogged down. It's too much work. It limits me from my potential. It limits other people potential. I kept saying that it'll be easier when circumstances are different - but isn't the best test when things are hard? Isn't that truly overcoming? So I'm working on that. I've realized a lot about my shortcomings in the last few months, but this week I feel like I got some amazing direction on overcoming. That feels wonderful. Some things I didn't even know I wanted to change a few months ago, now I hope I get to shed them in this life. So amazing to see who you want to be and be able to work towards it. To happiness!

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