2018 chapter 12: March 21

My girls apparently really wanted to be center stage with their potty training for the third week in a row, cause they had 10 accidents today. We're two and half weeks in and this has been the worst day so far. But, two days ago they both pooped in the potty, and that was awesome. But they apparently forgot? Or maybe it was just a really great gift for Aunt Elizabeth's birthday...that I benefited from? They are going sans pull up for naps and staying dry and they've been waking up dry in the morning too. I'm going to cling to those wins. 

Wade continues to be the only one who cares about the potty prizes. Girls couldn't care less, but every time Wade goes potty he has to get a stamp or sticker. So lame. But, the girls really care about getting themselves the poop prizes (not that that desire has motivated much success), so at least when Wade gets his then I get to deal with their tantrums...I mean, they get a reminder about pooping in the potty. They did both score one the other day (a little pink princess the size and material of an army man) and they have to take it everywhere and they can tell who's is who's too. 

Spring is kinda coming. Well, I have a few sprouts!! But it also snowed the first official day of spring. Rude. Girls think outside is fair game and have been escaping daily...

and apparently clothing is optional. Funniest part of this was that she peed her pants, so the only logical thing I said was, "Blake, why'd you pee your pants?" Nothing about the fact that she wasn't actually wearing pants. Or a coat. Or her shoes (those are Wade's). Or that she was outside on her own. 

My kids all can watch a full movie! That feels like a big step. Moana has officially trumped Frozen (at least today). And Wade is loving Monster vs. Aliens.

Um...I don't have a comment on this. 

Blake figured out that strawberries go on her fingers like olives. Not that she knows that olives go on fingers. So I guess I figured out that strawberries can go on little fingers, and they're into it. They're also really into cucumbers and cauliflower right now. But those don't go on fingers as easily, but they do go in ranch - and so do strawberries, if you're two. 

Wade's been building a lot this week. He's so stir crazy. Poor kid, stuck home why sisters that are learning how to go potty. But luckily Daddy got his birthday present this week and it came in a huge box (golf clubs caddy), so he's got a boxes house in his room. His house includes a garbage can, recycling bin, and chimney for Santa. As the week went on it's also been painted nicely. He also has been building mazes and games with all the pillows and blankets - lava monster has been introduced to our house. 

Big problem with girls potty training is that Wade wants to be with us and then is mad when all the potty's are taken and he doesn't want to go downstairs (or upstairs). It's a rough life.

I bought a new camera and lens this week! I've been saving and saving for it, and I finally took the plunge. My BBF and photography mentor went with me - luckily she was there because there was a great refurbished camera that was way nicer than I was planning on - and that allowed me to get a lens too, which I am crazy about! Also so grateful my friend was there, cause Blake pooped her pants mid-purchase. 

I took some newborn pictures with it this weekend and I love this set up. I have some more newborns to do tomorrow. And I set up my first round of mini-sessions for next weekend - excited to get the practice of posing lots of different people quickly. And I'm turning my front room into a studio. I think that's all on the photography front.

I've drawn out my yard dreams. It keeps escalating. But today I chopped down a bush that I don't like. Just hacked it up. It's super poky and I bought leather gardening gloves especially for the doom of this bush. But I didn't buy leather ...everything else, so it was rather poking getting it into the debris bin. And then pushing the debris bin over to it's spot. And I assume it'll continue it's revenge as I put the debris bin on the curb.

I have been grouchy this week. So grouchy. Well, it feels like I've been having "bad" days for weeks. Looking at the glass half empty. Or maybe a 2/3 empty. And I keep telling myself my annoyances are valid. 10 accidents after potty training for weeks. Blake plays with her underwear so much she has a eczema flair up on her butt. A dog that eats 12 ounces of dark chocolate. A small, squishy car. Three carseats. A 4 year old that cannot stop talking - like other moms with 4 year olds comment on how much he talks. A thumb nail that splits, so I cut it short to keep it from splitting and then I get a cut next to my nail bed. Headaches. Migraines. Running out of laundry detergent and getting new stuff and I don't like the smell. Kids who want to play with each other but don't want to share anything.  Fighting. Tantrums. And then I yell. I yell too much. My mom never yelled. I remember being like 10 and hearing her raise her voice on the phone and I was shocked - I had never heard that. And then here I am, yelling. Cause that's effective. My friend quoted Dr. Phil to me, "How's that working for ya?" Ha, it's not. And life is not terrible around here, it's really not. When I ask myself what I want to change, it's really nothing. Like, I'd love a nanny every once in a while or a maid and I'd really love to do all the amazing home and yard renovations that I have in my mind - but I love my life. I love this stage. My kids are hilarious and wonderful and energetic and spunky and my favorite. I am going to be so angry at myself in a few years if I look back and I didn't cherish this time. Not that I don't need balance and me time - but I hate the feeling of wanting to escape (like get to Target...nothing dramatic like leaving, let's be super clear on that). Cause I don't want to escape my life, not at all. I want to enjoy it. Cause I get to witness these little people every single day. I get to see their excitement when they realize that strawberries fit on fingers. I get to see their little butt cheeks in underwear (even if the underwear isn't always dry). I get to hear them learn and say new words. I get to see box houses built with garbage and recycling bins and a chimney for Santa. A little positivity might go with my vest (that's a Trolls reference. No one will get that). I remember feeling this need and itch to escape when the girls were about 6 months old - Husband would get home and I was almost shaking from being overwhelmed and I just had to escape. And I remember realizing that I didn't want to always be escaping the daily stuff, I wanted to enjoy the daily stuff. Re-evaluating and balance is a lifelong quest, I'm just a little off right now and need to remind myself what I want - a maid. Wait, no, to enjoy life; yeah, that's right.

Oh, also, I bought the wrong razor blades and had to wear tights to church the first Sunday of the year that I didn't HAVE to wear tights to church. Okay, perhaps that one isn't a valid reason to complain. Or the laundry detergent. And the talking kid, that's really all my fault. But, I will say that's it's 11:46 pm and both my girls are awake and bugging me...which has allowed me to add on to this post. Look at that positive. Oh, and they both woke up and peed in the potty.

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