"If you need someone to annoy you, I'm your man. Kakaaa!"

Wade's been taking this unassigned job very seriously. I think he gets joy out of teasing me. The evidence all points to yes. Apparently, I am an easy mark (ask AJ). 

Blake got a tooth pulled. She told me she had a tooth ache a while back and when I looked in her mouth she had a visible cavity. We have some work to do on brushing apparently (oops, feel like a real failure). She was so brave and did excellent. They gave her gas and she was so funny afterwards. Toothfairy forgot to come that night, but remembered the next night. Blake had written a note that asked why some kids get $5 "dollirs" or $20 "dollirs" but in this house we only get $1 "dollirs." First of all, if the jerk parents giving $20 could just stop that, that'd be great. I (I mean, the toothfairy) wrote back that all kids are supposed to just get $1, so she'll have to check with her helpers (she has helpers that visit other kids, but THE toothfairy comes to our house). Next time a tooth in the house is lost, she'll report back that her fairy helpers were giving more money so that they would run out and be done for the night, they weren't doing their jobs right. Just throwing all the helper fairies at other homes (and their ridiculous $20 bills) under the bus. Also, built in excuse next time she's a day late, because she had to get rid of so many of her cheater helpers that she's got so much work to do. I've got a rich backstory going on.   

Yesterday Wade went on a field trip! When asking about the best part of his entire day he said it was that he learned how to play a hand-clap game called avocado. He went to a science museum that included a planetarium, and his favorite takeaway was a hand-clap game his friend taught him on the bus. At least the bar is low for what counts as awesome. 

He did say the planetarium was very cool. 

The girls have picked up the saying/action plan "punch them in the nuts." No idea where this originated, but they've brainstormed it's usefulness: someone breaks into the house = punch them in the nuts. Satan comes to life = punch him in the nuts. The Grinch tries to steal out Christmas = punch him in the nuts. 

A few weeks ago I heard Bryan tell the kids it was time to get off the iPad, then I heard him yell and Blake cry. Apparently being told to turn off the iPad made Dad a bad guy and she punched him in the nuts! I know it's not funny (Bryan would said it's definitely not funny), but it's funny. They had a serious talk about how you NEVER do that (unless it's a real bad guy, Satan, or maybe the Grinch). 

Wade learned the word femur. FEMUR. He likes this word, thinks it's pretty cool he know it. How do I know this? Because we're having a lot of conversations involving femurs. "I got kicked in the femur" "I hurt my femur on the bar under my desk" "This growth spurt is making my femurs hurt." 

Stella's a garbage dog. This isn't new, but I am more and more convinced that she will survive the zombie apocalypse, or at least the streets of Brazil. She ate an entire chicken carcass. It was on the peninsula. I had to traps around my yard checking her poop - she was kind enough to poop twice inside for easier checks. She's fine. Totally fine. It was just a good source of calcium. Last night she got onto the bench > peninsula > counter and ate the grease from two pounds of ground beef. Just waiting for the joy of cleaning that off my rug. I hate her. 

The kids learned the song "Beans, Beans the magical fruit." I informed them that I invented the song while I was in 3rd grade, and it was so good that it's still popular today and has gone around the whole world and I should have gotten a copywrite cause then we'd be rich. I even told them that they had a line wrong and corrected them. They made me call Aunt Elizabeth to verify my story. They didn't believe me. But they didn't not believe me either, I created doubt. Motherhood is fun. 

“Here’s a metaphor for you, I’m hotter than a bonfire.” - Wade

Wade was talking about the different ways people sing “The Fifty Nifty United States” song, then he went on to demonstrate the different ways. Way 1: singing, and then taking some breaths and pausing on certain tones. Way 2: they don’t pause and run everything together (he doesn’t like this way). His demonstrations included singing the whole song in completion both times.

Bryan mentioned that Wisconsin actually has more lakes than Minnesota. Wade said, “When I get older, I'm going to bury those lakes so that Minnesota has more." 

We were driving and Jacqueline said, “Why are there so many copies of trucks over there?” (Talking about a car dealership).

I was cooking and Jac wanted to help (I wish I enjoyed this, I do not), I was dragging mu excitement. She asked if she could wear an apron and I said I didn’t have one for her (I meant in her size). She said, “Well, it’s just like that, but it’s on me.”

Blake asked: “How did you decorate your outside when you were kids Were there (voice gets quiet and unsure), like, lights back then?” Thank you for that.

Blake grabbed a spoon to eat a very runny milkshake, I warned her that it would be a disaster, she replied to me, “You’re a disaster.” The jury is still out on if I am creating monsters.

Bryan is a very good snowboarder, Travis (his brother) is better. We talk about this a decent amount as we’re trying to help our kids understand that getting pointers from someone who is better than you is good, and dad always appreciates feedback from Trav. Fast forward, we’re driving to Buck Hill to snowboard and discussing what we each want to try to improve on and Jac says she wants to work on transitions so she can be good like dad, then Blake says “Well I want to be good like Travis” – a totally intentional burn on Bryan, he comedic timing is my favorite.

Blake was explaining something that happened while they were at the dentist and Jac said, “Well, I didn’t see that, cause remember how it’s like a bathroom?” I had to think that one through, a bathroom? Cause there are sinks? No, because the room is separated into sections, like stalls.

Wade was being a booger (common occurrence, as established above) and I said “You’re a real pleasure to be around.” Blake asked what pleasure meant, I explained and she said, “But, he’s not being pleasant. At all.”

We've been getting so much snow. Snowiest winter I've ever experienced (and I'm going on 9 years, this is almost the longest I've ever lived somewhere. I *think* I'm a Minnesota). Kids have had 4 snow days (one was a free day, the other three were at home learning days). FOUR! It takes a lot to call a snow day in MN. Snow day activities: 

We built a snowman family. 

Stella likes carrots. Or course she does. Garbage dog. 

Then the weather got warm, and we now have a snowman graveyard. 

The snow has been so fun. Also, worst possible year for our snowblower to decide it wanted to retire - Bryan's trying to revive it, and Travis keeps making comments that cause Bryan to hope it's possible. In the meantime, our neighbors have been amazing and has let us use theirs. 

And here is a photo dump of catchup, not organized in any particular order (as in, not in chronological order). 

First day of school:  

The day we visited an apple orchard and I accidentally spent $80 on apples cause I didn't really compute how heavy they were and I felt on the spot when they weighted them. At least it gave me the motivation to learn how to put up some apples cause NO WAY these apples were going to waste.

The kids were all very into racking leaves this year, and they actually did a great job. Our neighbor paid Wade $5 to rake leaves from his yard into our yard (it's been ongoing joke/feud between him and Bryan for years). 

Halloween: 

Those crazy eye!

Liz and Dave's wedding weekend: 

Plane ride home: 

Making pot holder's as a wedding gift: 

I got some dollhouses (yes, there's an S on there, as in, more than one) and I painted them black for Halloween. They turned out so cool. You know what's annoying, storing huge dollhouses. 

Holiday pies: